Pounds This Period: -1
Pounds Total: 43
Current Weight: 247
Pounds to Go: 19
Weeks to Go: 12
Rate To Go: 1.6 lbs/wk
BOO! Wong direction! WRONG DIRECTION!
That problem I talked about last week - not being able to stop eating once I start - yeah…I haven’t found a solution to that. There have been many times where I thought I won, only to wake up an hour later surrounded by empty containers of hummus, the partly-chewed remains of string cheese wrappers, what I can only hope are chocolate stains on my pants and the vague scent of bacon.
Creative hyperbole aside, I do lose control over myself. It isn’t a new problem, I have struggled with it since High School. Part of my brain will say, “Dude - you don’t need to eat that”, but the other, much more controlling part will say, “YES I DO!” And with that, I find myself walking to the fridge and gorging myself on whatever I can get my sausage-like hands on, all the while wondering, “Why the fuck am I doing this?”
Sigh.
Any ideas?
In OTHER news (I’m going to say I did this because it was my 20th Weight-Loss post, but really it’s just to make myself feel better), I have compiled the below image to show the evolution of weight-loss. It makes me happy. In order of oldest fattest to newest thinnest:
Couple of questions, though. Why do I hang around such skinny people? And why didn’t anyone stop me from wearing that hideous blue shirt?! All kidding aside, though, it is a nice reminder, no matter what minor set-backs I may encounter, how far I’ve come…and how different I look! Yay for self-congratulations!
“Why the fuck am I doing this?”
Because it feels good. And it’s now.
Being thinner, that’s abstract and distant. It’s hard to swing the needle in that direction. I know, I’ve been there.
I am, in fact, back there again, but I have the advantage now of remembering what it was like when I lost all that weight before. It was _glorious_. Of course, until recently that hasn’t been enough and I had to find the proper motivation to tip me over the edge (in my case, it was to be Captain Hammer for halloween; I haven’t missed a workout since).
I have the same problem of eating too much. If I open a bag of chips, for example, the chances of me stopping before finishing the entire bag: slim. If I’m preparing food, I actually have to finish preparing and PUT EVERYTHING AWAY _before_ I start eating anything. Otherwise I’ll eat everything, because it’s available. I have to tell myself how much better that leftover chicken will be tomorrow, because I won’t have to cook or anything then. Still, it’s tough to leave it in the fridge. Can’t you hear it? It’s calling to me.
Portion control is always difficult. That’s why I like those little packs of pre-sliced apples or baby carrots or whatever. The portion control is then just to eat one pack. I don’t have to decide how many carrots is “enough”; I stop when the pack is empty.
Picking the right foods is also difficult. I don’t buy chips or cookies or really any junkfood at all. Triscuits, dried fruit, peanuts, that’s as close as I come to real empty snacks. But my roommates… they like Doritos. And I see them on the table. What’s that? Just eat one and then stop? Sure, I can do that… DOH!
I have to make a list before I go to the store. Otherwise I’ll give in to impulse and buy crap that’s no good for me. Because I miss the junk food. Candy, man, snickers and skittles. But I remember missing them when I lost all the weight last time, and how those cravings died down after a few months. The skinnier I got, the easier it was to stay skinny. Irony.
Anyway, keep up the effort, it does pay off.
Eventually.
I am so effing proud of you! You look amazing, but of course, I’m sure you figured that out when I offered your wife fifty thousand dollars to sleep with you at our high school reunion. Ahem. I mean…good job! Seriously, you are doing so well. You both are. There are no words for the extent of my pride for all of your hard work.